Twitter etiquette?
Twitter lovers are passionate about using Twitter, and Laura Fitton has a great post about the appeal of this new “village” communications tool. But I think Twitter users often go too far, watching the screen but not connecting with live people. And, alas, not having good manners.
I was recently at a professional association’s award ceremony dinner and three people at my table talked and Twittered throughout the ceremony. (And we were the closest table to the podium where award recipients were speaking.) Forget that the rest of us at the table couldn’t hear bad the people at the podium who were pretty interesting and for whom we had paid to come meet. Call me old fashioned but it just seemed downright rude to the people who were trying to speak at the podium. Kids in my family know not to be talking while other people are speaking or on stage. Evidently these adults do not. Is it the addictive nature of Twitter? Did they never learn manners? Are they more interested in cool technology than listening to real human beings four feet away?
Maybe it’s time for some basic Twitter etiquette lessons,. My pick for Twitter Etiquette Rule #1:
1. When you’re with people, listen to and talk with them. That’s how the most meaningful connections are made. And that’s what being social is all about.
Other etiquette ideas?
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January 16th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Oy - what a post! Nothing has helped me better understand the real power we’re tapping into than this. Amazing…
You know, about a year ago I noticed our girls, 23 and 25 (and their guys), sometimes very confused by the fact that taking a call - however short- at a family dinner (or talking intermittently throughout a movie) is actually not cool with us.
I got curious one day (our girls are great people with no intention to be rude most of the time) after another mid-meal cell call, and just asked them about it.
The oldest one said very thoughtfully (and I am paraphrasing), ‘Its kind of like going back and forth between two different worlds. Online, the more conversations you’ve got going and can keep track of, the cooler you are. And the more successful. Offline, it’s sort of the opposite. I just forget where I am sometimes. And with who. Sorry.’
It slowed me down a bit to see how young people’s social skills are being influenced in ways ours never were…
As for all the ‘grups’ involved, as far as I can tell - and I’m still pretty green out here, so take this for whatever it is or isn’t worth - in the ‘thar’s gold in them thar hills’ rush to capitalize on opportunities, leverage connections, build links and rise through up the rankings , it’s seems so easy to forget that manners matter, and so does being genuinely social.
When the majority of life (and people) becomes largely reduced to numbers and stats, numbers and stats tend to be what you connect with most, n’est pas?
January 17th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
So right. But the etiquette lesson goes beyond Twitter. I can’t tell you how often people pull out their Blackberry, iPhone or even their laptop and start tapping away during meetings. Detached from the topic at hand and when asked a question typically answer with a “Sorry, ask me again”. And we do. We enable it. I think it’s okay to call people out when they fade away into their screens. Perhaps the speakers at the Award Ceremony should have. When Mrs. Lemon made me read the note I was passing to a buddy in 2nd grade I quickly realized that behavior was not acceptable. I think it’s okay to start off a meeting by asking people to turn off their devices. I think it’s okay to create office etiquette rules that have ramifications. I work with a bunch of 20 something’s and they’re the ones who have the issue with it. So it’s not just a generational thing. We now collect a buck for every offence and we’re going to have a nice group dinner. But next year, we’ll be lucky to have a light lunch.
Here’s a little advice. If you’re invited to a meeting, chances are there is an assumption you’ll add value. If some email or phone call is that important, leave. Say, “Excuse me. I have to answer this, it’s my wife and she has gone into labor” Trust me you won’t mind paying the buck.
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:02 am
Matthew,
Thanks. No more enabling!
Lois
June 12th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
You say that the people “talked and Twittered” during the presentation at the podium. I can understand your being annoyed at the talking part, but why do you care if they are Twittering? At the end you suggest that it’s the lack of communication (presumably with you and others at the table) that you dislike. Again, though, if this happened during the presentation, you shouldn’t be talking to each other in the first place.
The only cause for annoyance that I can see is their talking aloud during a presentation, which is very rude and disturbing to others. Perhaps you heard them talking about Twitter and you’ve conflated the two. I wonder…if they had been Twittering silently, would it have mattered to you? If they were silently reading a brochure or a magazine during the presentation (odd behavior to be certain) would that have bothered you?
I think that sometimes we worry so much about people violating traditional behavior codes that we unnecessarily disrupt OUR OWN enjoyment of our surroundings- and blame it on others. So “boo” to the talking, but a resounding “who cares” about the Twittering. I’d have had more important things to worry about!
June 15th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Hi Allison.
What REALLY annoyed me was the talking aloud while Twittering, not the Twittering. The three people kept talking and laughing about Tweets, which made it hard for the rest of us to hear the presentes.
Lois